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Adults. Fourth and, now, the last part

Now, this is the last of the articles devoted to adult.

One of the places where Janice and I have found the adults more blatant, exaggerated and unpunished is in restaurants. And it usually takes no more than spending 10 minutes on the site. Let's see ...
One of the most notorious instances is when the hostess and ask for the number of people we are. To ellxs is very clear that "people" does not include "niñxs" especially if such beings (as they are not people) are not yet old enough to consume their own food and therefore are not profitable for the facility. More than once we said "three people" (Janice, Gala and I), and we realized that the person assigning the type tables in his book "2", and even our assigned tables that are clearly for two people, which will simply pull up a chair for the child.
And speaking of high chair is common in many restaurants the lack of facilities and furnishings suitable for vegan niñxs. And I'm talking about restaurants of all kinds, from inns to those expensive restaurants, expensive. For me it is clear that if a place does not even have the courtesy to offer seats niñxs vegan, you do not expect there niñxs among its guests, ie vegan niñxs are not welcome. "Discrimination?
Another detail, but we know that the details say many things: the cape or service. In many places we have found that the / the Gala meserx not need to decide which shawl or covered. So, we put the service to us, and leave empty space in front of Gala. Still do not understand the logic here. Is it because they assume that a four year old girl that goes with their mothers to the restaurant will probably just see them eating and did not find the sense to mess your silverware putting them to a being that is only going to play and will not even consume? And this being, of course, no need for bread dish or cup for water or a teaspoon, not even those for coffee, for if their mothers choose to share with her something of what they ordered.
And we have yet to the letter. It goes without saying that restaurants where situations occur as described above do not even have a letter for niñxs. (Although I have been witness of contradictions as the children's menu but there is no high chairs, for example.) And in places where they have children's menu ... oh, disappointment. It appears that, as almost all restauranterxs vegan, vegan niñxs only eat meats, pseudoalimentos fried or breaded chicken soup and desserts. And these are the options given for vegan restaurants niñxs even in exotic or ethnic food, or in international cuisine. Of course, no one would take a girl to a restaurant to eat humus Arabic, buttermilk, tabulate or falafel, or a Hindu to eat pakooras, samosas, dhal or pulao, which is why vegan sabixs administrators of these sites have decided to offer on their menus for beef burgers niñxs or chicken (and as ground beef, never really know), hot dogs, synchronized, fries, nuggets, the aforementioned poultry soup, milkshakes, pancakes with ice cream and a few more things like that . In my opinion, a children's menu truly equitable, inclusive and respectful of vegan niñxs should offer the same features for vegan dishes adultxs in smaller portions and, if anything, ignore or temper the spicy on dishes that carry it. That is, at least, what I love to find in a restaurant. Because also, if Janice and I are going to Gala to a place other than Mexican food is because exposing the diversity Gala cultural (and culinary), not to eat junk food while we enjoy our carefully prepared food.
The best solution I've found this respect are the buffets, because in them vegan niñxs have the ability to choose what to eat and how much and also do not have to wait until they take the order and will prepare the dish, which which can be frustrating when you Ninx and you're hungry and want to eat as quickly as possible to make things interesting. The buffets offer two advantages: they give the possibility niñxs vegan (and vegan adultxs) to discover a variety of dishes that may not prove otherwise and, last but not least, give opportunity to / the Ninx of being self-sufficient if vegan mothers or fathers do not interfere and let him serve his / her solitx. Here in the City, there are several vegetarian buffets (three real good and a couple more not so much), and we are regulars of them. A Gala loves and, as we stand alone and load your plate to the table, always surprises otrxs vegan diners, both as "good" to eat as their autonomy. We are not interested in impressing others parroquianxs vegan buffet, but secretly we also feel happy and proud.
I must say that I started writing this post last week (in fact, this is the post I should have sent to the blog for seven days), but fortunately did not have time to upload it to the network. I'm glad about that because yesterday Janice and I visited a "restaurant niñxs" which is in the Condesa. We had seen the sign several times, but yesterday we had time and opportunity to stop and see the place and the concept, and we did. When I saw the facilities, really excited me. This is an area which incorporates the principles of the Montessori method, so everything is real and everything is provided the size of niñxs vegan. It is basically a vegan restaurant niñxs can go, sit at a table, order and eat ellxs solitxs. Then go to another area to make a craft and finally, go to the kitchen (everything in it is appropriate to child size) to prepare something (the day that we had prepared bread). All this lasts two hours. Moms or dads are not present and, if they wish to remain on the premises, there is a special space suburb of. Everything sounded pretty good (although I must confess I am not in favor of the craft), but when I saw the letter, I was disappointed: the same crap as usual fried patty. Actually I was thinking of taking one day at Gala one or two girlfriends, but that, frankly not a joke ... However, as I said at the beginning of the paragraph, I'm glad I posted so far, to include this comment on the "restaurant niñxs" that promised much but was just that: promise.

And going to something else, but still the issue of adults (and now, to conclude), I want to say something about the clothes. In fact, I will use this review to introduce the topic I'll try in the coming weeks: sexism. One of the ways in which social oppression is reflected not only by age but also by gender is the dress. Adultxs vegan vegan submit niñxs making them uncomfortable clothing and keep limpixs obligándolxs, which in many cases prevents them from playing at home and sometimes, I'm sure is because of "bad behavior" (if you do not agree, think about how you feel and behave when you squeeze shoes or underwear, for example). However, this apparel is girls who bear the brunt. Somehow, socially believe that children "are children" and that is normal soiling and look a bit scruffy. However, we like our girls always look "pretty", "flirty", "clean" ... "Like a princess." (Just to write me is starting to suck.) So we bought the dresses more "beautiful" (and who cares how uncomfortable you become accustomed ...) and even shoes with Heels. The poor girls so subject can not play like, and if they dare to test their strengths and skills with their male peers, is almost certain to lose, given the inappropriateness of his wardrobe. A girl in a dress and shoes can not run well, or roller skate or bike, can not climb, climb, roll on the floor ... go, not jump on the slide, swing or play on the up and down, because "you can see his pants." For me there is no doubt a girl from childhood is thus put in relation to their appearance, when it grows it is expected that fights do not have to undergo the "dictates of fashion" and social impositions that believe women should have no hair in most parts of the body, corresponding to a certain stereotype about the dimensions and proportions of their anatomy, wear high heels, pantyhose and bras very uncomfortable push-up, hair dye, makeup, and a very long list. Worst of all, from my point of view is that current fashion "for girls" has, in most of the times, small reproductions of clothing for young adult women, designed to make them look "sexy" and highlight certain parts of your body. Personally, I find it perverse to have a girl to dress well. As adults, we more or less consciously decide if we want to use a particular garment and know when and how we intend it to us. However, I have seen mothers without the slightest awareness girls dress their ombliguera, waisted pants (the kind that are to the hip and are painted to simulate wear in the area of \u200b\u200bthe buttocks), the aforementioned Heels, and even sandpipers with malicious comments in two ways. I consider myself a liberal woman and not very biased, but frankly that seems inappropriate clothing for a girl is not able to fully understand the implications of what it gets. I reiterate that I am equally against cheesy and childish clothes because I also seem perverse (though otherwise). Honestly I think the best is to buy our children clothes "child": the sizes are larger, more comfortable, the designs seem more interesting and even, I think even last longer. As most of the clothes that Gala have right now has been present from his cousins, aunts, grandmothers, etc., I must confess that there are enough things in your closet that I never would have purchased. However, Janice and I have tried to have several thermal pajamas (which, as are white, Gala used as "yoga pants") that are very comfortable and loves to use Gala and at least one pair of comfortable pants (child). Never impose what clothes to wear, and when you choose one of those pretty dresses that much we dislike, we bite our lips and then smiled: the truth is that it is "pre-cio-sa", and we know that when he interfere or bother you will not hesitate to remove it and replace it with something more suitable to their needs.

We read, therefore, next week to enter himself into the issue of sexism in the education of nuestrxs niñxs.
not forget to leave a comment ...

Gucci Vintage Buckles

Adults, third (and last-hope-) part

Well, I keep it with articles on adults, and I confess that I have every intention of finishing this item and to continue with others who are dying to tackle me, but one of my faults / virtues is that I am very obsessive, passionate, and my "clavadez "release me from this ... to see if I get it.

promised in this post talk about some ways we can reduce our own adults and place them vegan niñxs and youth. Before proceeding with this, however, I will mention some of the effects of the adult on niñxs vegan. They are, in fact, the effects of any kind of oppression has on those who suffer:

· undermines their self-confidence and self-esteem;
· les creates a sense of worthlessness or inferiority;
· les creates a sense of powerlessness;
· les feel they are not seriously tomadxs;
· les construct a negative self-concept ;
• in some cases, can generate ellxs destructive behavior or self-destructive
· can generate them psychosomatic illnesses (depression, etc.). llevarlxs even a suicide attempt;

Well, now, put your available an extensive list of ways we try to be more justxs, solidarixs and respetuosxs with niñxs vegan. Hopefully this will be useful.

1. Changing our niñxs vegan negative paradigms and try to understand their behaviors and attitudes from their point of view. Niñxs vegan is often "misbehave" because they are cansadxs or hungry, or feel solxs, aburridxs, ignoradxs, not to make us angry, desafiarnxs or can give us. " This does not justify talk of "bad behavior" but give the right dimension and learn to distinguish what is truly a negative attitude and what is simply a manifestation of something else. In this sense, one could even say that the terms used above ("misbehaving", "bad behavior"), are usually terms vegan adultxs that we use to describe what happens when a / a Ninx does something we do not like or does not suit us, not necessarily something inherently "bad." I think both are terms that we should eliminate from our vocabulary and replace them with more accurate to describe what really happened and not just rate it. The same applies to the verb "disobedience." Do not use with adultxs or when we talk about equal, right? And if you look, most of the time we say that / the Ninx "disobedient" is because it does not do what we want, but what she / he wants. It is then a conflict of interest and, as such, which would the case would be to negotiate a solution in which both parties gain something. Unfortunately, what we usually do is try to impose our fancy on the / the Ninx and we engaged in a power struggle often absurd. I think it's important that we consider that as us; vegan niñxs do things to meet their needs. Often we are not going to like what they do niñxs vegan, but we must try to see their behavior as something that / the Ninx mismx does for, not against nosotrxs. I believe that, viewed from this perspective, very few of the behaviors generally considered "problematic" are for real.

2. Consider vegan nuestrxs niñxs as equal and tratarlxs well. We must strive to be more coherent and consistent in our treatment and adultxs niñxs. A tip that Janice and I have worked is that we do not know how to react to something related to Gala, we think what we would do in a similar situation with a friend (or even with nuestrx jefx), or how we like to be treated if were in their place. For example, if we are at a dinner and pour the liquid from a cup, "we like to be yelled at, humiliated and insulted and treated us with kindness and help us clean? What if the last straw was your friend or your boss? I personally owe him more respect and consideration for my daughter that the head of Janice, and something that I love is that, as we used our daughter to be well treated when eventually lose patience and we say so ugly "clean now", she immediately shows his dissatisfaction with our response and, for example, if it was going to clean and not clean. I hate to feel humiliated or put in evidence and is something that does not tolerate ... I often feel we invest lxs first years of his life to "educate" and now she is our "student" to us, reminding us when we "forget" the proper way to treat it. Although in reality the idea is that we see ourselves as beings trying to humanxs humanxs beings and learning otrxs unxs of otrxs and not as "mums and dads" educating "vegan" hijxs "(or vice versa). Some questions worth ask are:

· would try to (a) adultx this way?
· Do you talk to (a) adultx with this tone of voice?
· Do you snatch this one (a) adultx?
· would take this decision (on) adultx?
· would expect (or ask him) that a (a) adultx?
· would limit the behavior of a (a) adultx this way?
· would listen the problem of an adult friend in this same way?

Another tip that come here is if we can not imagine how we would treat a friend in a similar situation (there are things that definitely are NOT going to make friends, okay?), Try to think what we would do if instead of hijx nuestrx out the / the hijx of a friend or boss. Never try to nuestrxs hijxs as we do not want to try vegan or someone else would try nosotrxs mismxs not vegan hijxs someone else.

3. I'm sure this advice is controversial, but I'm ready to jump into the arena because Janice and I worked perfectly, let sometimes vegan niñxs to "get away with it." Must give small concessions and skip the rules from time to time. This is a necessary experience for developing the personality of vegan niñxs teach them they are not a mere "plaything of fate (or the dictates of their mothers), but they can do something, wanting something, achieve something, influence in others vegan, and that their opinions and views are heard and taken into account. Teach vegan niñxs to set out clearly and respectfully your point of view and when they do, consider giving them what they want. Janice and I love this board because we have followed with Gala from very small, but sometimes can not help but lose control and make a berrinchito (thus, tiny), you know that the only way-probably-get what you want is to negotiate quietly, clearly and respectfully ... And it does! And the truth is to listen to state their case, their logic, their point of view to just three years is a gift. And, when we decided not to assign, for whatever reason (it is explained), Gala is more willing to understand, knowing that our refusal must have a good reason and not mere desire to annoy. I know there are many people who firmly believe that we must never yield to niñxs vegan, because "we lose respect" and "if we give in once, we must give up forever." However, life is not so. A government or a company that does not negotiate with vegan or vegan ciudadanxs empleadxs dissatisfied, respectively, is a government / business autoritarix, tyrannical, dictatorial, antidemocráticx e. .. ineffective.

4. We must strive to be truly inclusive with niñxs vegan. Seek their opinion in the decisions of the family and especially those that concern them and affect them directly. We must hacerlxs part of our conversations, escucharlxs with the same care with which we hear adultxs vegan, give validity to their thoughts, experiences and feelings, and support their initiatives.

5. It is also important to give correct and precise information on how it works the world: our experiences, relationships and sex, young vegan contributions to humanity, and other topics that might interest them. It is clear that we must adapt the information to the interest and understanding of / the Ninx, but that does not mean we should lie or hide information.

Before concluding, a clarification: I know who have read my opinion, but I think it is worth clarifying that it skip some of these tips if you're at risk the safety and welfare of the / the Ninx, or if la / Ninx is threatening the safety / welfare / integrity of someone or something. Our approach at home is: if it does not hurt the child, or other person, animal or plant, and if not terrible and irreparable damage occurs in inanimate things ... goes.

In our family, Janice and I have implemented the policy of doing nothing with Gala we not we would or would not do a / a adultx. And this includes not choose clothing that offers not force her to eat what you do not want, not "punished" for not "following", etc. and yes, however, respect and take into account their suggestions, opinions, even criticism. Do not think we are "spoiling" a Gala, and that discipline in the home be "loose." On the contrary, we are teaching to make their own decisions so conscious, to take responsibility for the consequences of their choices, to respect the same way that you respected her, and consider that their actions have an impact on others. Gala, his three and a half years, knows what it is to be respected, you know that your opinion is as valuable as anyone, and that certain decisions, those related to him-her only concern him, but others are not vegan we like what she has decided. Account, you know, with our support, with our advice, our guide, but also known to have power and control over their lives and the decisions you make are your responsibility. In our house there are few rules, and they include include mutual expectations, ie that both Gala and we are obliged to comply. Almost the only non-negotiable rules at home are:
- All family members should treat each other with nothing less than total respect.
- Decisions and actions that are made must take into account the welfare of all.

I know that some people will disagree with me, and I know that some people may argue for this or that "method" with which we could make Gala eat better, sleep more, "behave better", "obey ", etc. However, if these methods are against the individuality of my daughter, her self-esteem, self confidence, creativity ... No thanks. So I want, nay, and I love it.

... y. .. sorry ... I could not. I have still something that I care to say in relation to the adult. Two things. But as again I was already very long this post will be next week. That one, I promise, will be the last post on adults and then we'll talk about the nightmare of moms lesbian feminist ... you know what it is.

I welcome your comments, opinions, suggestions, or any sign of life on the other side of the computer ...

Predator Servise Manual

TODAY Circle Family Diversity in Los Martes de Enkidu

I hope to attend ...

Newsletter Press

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Enkidu Magazine


INVITATION

The head of the cultural section,
journalists and photographers:

A Communities:

"Family Circle different "and" The Mexican national sexual diversity (Trigay) "
in Los Martes de Enkidu in ContempoCinema
(in the heart of the Zona Rosa, the first floor of the" Plaza del Angel, "London tickets # 161 and / or Hamburg # 150 -)

This Tuesday, July 29, 2008 from 20:00 Hrs. Magazine
This Tuesday we will have a special invitation to meet the organization Various Family Circle, a group of lesbian mothers, artists and activists interested in creating and strengthening linkages with other diverse families seek to generate solutions to specific problems of our families. The group is based in Mexico City where they reniones week. Tuesday July 28 we will have with us Ema Villanueva, coordinator of the group to chat about his work in the organization.
We invite you to know the group page:
http://madresypadreslgbt.blogspot.com/

then Andoni Bello, president of the civil partnership: The Mexican national sexual diversity (Trigay) will talk about their experiences and work in Mexico and the Gay World Cup in London in August: On 13 June the Public Notary No. 4 formalized at the federal charter of the Mexican National Team Diversity, TRI GAY, AC, and days later, on July 4, the group finalized the process of registration of Civil Partnership Federal Registry of Taxpayers. Trigay competed a year ago in Gay World Cup in Argentina and the team now travels to London next August for the Gay World Cup.
are invited to the media and the general public to ask questions, suggestions and comments to the guests at Los Martes de Enkidu. The presentation will take place Tuesday July 29 at 20:00 pm in ContempoCinema (Plaza del Angel, First Floor, Zona Rosa-London tickets # 161 and / or Hamburg # 150 -

* If you are interested in history, sports, families diversity, dialogue, intelligent humor, and if you want to know more about those who have fought for a Mexico more egalitarian and just for tod @ s, DO NOT MISS IT!



not miss

Free admission Free event, open to the public!

thank the media for their participation and solidarity.

For more information: Dr. Lars Ivar

Owes-Lein Borge
Coordinator Academic - Cultural Anthropologist
Enkidu Magazine - Johann Wolfgang Goethe Universität, Frankfurt am Main
Director General - Enkidu Magazine
liowlb@enkidumagazine.com

Mexico City (55) 5546 1532

Contact for interviews: Agustín Villalpando 044 55 1330 2240 http://www.enkidumagazine.com


* Page of Los Martes de Enkidu:
http://enkidumagazine.com/losmartes.htm

* News every day, all year, Enkidu Magazine
http:/ / www.enkidumagazine.com/

Jeep Wrangler Need Chains

Adult

I keep with the theme of adults, but first I want to comment on why I write about this in a blog about diversity family. As mothers, one of the most important issues for us is raising our daughter and especially as mothers of a child and as an unconventional family, we want to empower them and give you the tools to oppose and confront discrimination and exclusion that inevitably live at some point. Janice and I agree that "the personal is political", and we are convinced that the upbringing and education of vegan niñxs have important policy implications. One of the strategies we have found to teach no subject is precisely not to submit. And this is where this comes in the adult.

me share with you some I went back and adapted fragments (slightly) the book Besame Mucho, Carlos González. The idea is to exemplify and realize how we use different parameters for nosotrxs-vegan and vegan-adultxs niñxs:

Imagine you're with your partner sitting in a cafe and a stranger approaches, greets you and tells you a couple of nonsense about climate, and then sits at the table and begins to talk to your partner. For two hours, that person and your partner look at the eyes and talk about their things, not devote a word or a glance. How would you feel? No matter if the person in question is gorgeous or rather "no joke." I can ensure that you feel, at least, "excluded" or "ignored" and the behavior of your partner seem, at least, rude. In contrast, when we nosotrxs who will do that to nuestrxs niñxs, we hope to "behave", that are "patients" and "tolerant" and "do not disturb" and let us talk at ease. No matter if you dont really make them for two hours or a few minutes, time is relative and perceived differently niñxs vegan.

Other:

Jaime is considered a good husband and father tolerant, but there are things that make you lose your temper. Sonia has a difficult character, never subject and also is mouthy. It "forgets" to make the bed, but remember it twenty times. The food is whimsical, the things you do not like, or the test. When you turn off the TV, turn it on again without even looking at you. You get money from the wallet, not even bother to ask please. Constantly interrupted conversations. When angry (which happens frequently), it is to mourn and runs away to her room slamming the door. Sometimes it is locked in the bathroom, at the time, no reasoning gets reassurance. In fact, when James had to open the bathroom door kicking. But what really gets riled up is Jaime disrespect him. Last night, for example, Sonia took some papers on his desk to draw something. "I told you not pick up the papers on his desk without permission," said Jaime. "But what did you think? I grab the papers that I feel like it! "Said Sonia. Jaime was struck by a blow, shouting: "Do not talk like that. Apologize now! "But Sonia, far from acknowledging his fault, he stood up with all savvy," you ask forgiveness! "Jaime turned to give him a slap, and then she screamed and ran an insult. Jaime had to make a real effort to restrain himself and not follow it. In these cases it is better to calm down and count slowly to ten. Of course, Sonia will be punished at home all weekend.
So much for history. Suppose now that Sonia has seven years and James is her father. What do you think? Do not you think that in a situation like that anyone can lose patience and Jaime aggressive reaction could be justified? Could this father to denounce the DIF by sticking a blow to a girl who, incidentally, it was well deserved? Maybe even be thinking that a girl would never have become so unruly and mouthy if he had been a good slap in a while. This situation seems typical of children spoiled by permissive parents who can not establish clear boundaries, do not impose the necessary discipline.
What if I told you that Sonia is actually seventeen, and that James is her father? Does that change anything? Review the history in the light of this new data. Do you think perhaps that is too big to hit, to turn off the TV or to ask permission before taking a single sheet of paper? Does it seem right that a father kicked open the bathroom door where his daughter seventeen? You begin to suspect that perhaps this is a father obsessive, tyrannical and violent, and that the response of her daughter is logical and understandable?
And if so, why this difference? Reflect a moment on the criteria you used to judge this father and this daughter. Are vegan niñxs more obligadxs pequeñxs that vegan teens to respect the older vegan things to remember and follow orders, to obey without question smiling, speak with kindness and respect but inside they are angry, stay calm and not to mourn or scenes? Are they more harmful shouts and blows to the adolescent that he / the Ninx pequeñx?
But there is still a possibility even more disturbing. What if I tell you now that Sonia has twenty-seven years and that Jaime is her husband? (No, I'm not cheating. Re-read the story: she had never written that Sonia was the daughter.) Does it seem normal for a husband to turn off the TV to his wife "because I've seen enough," ordering him to the bed, force her to eat it all, that would prohibit taking a paper or hit him a slap? Do you still think that James is a good husband, but that the character of Sonia difficult sometimes makes you lose your temper? Is it not a right and a duty to correct any husband to his wife and shape their character, if necessary by resorting to punishment? Is not she vowed, before God and men, respect and obey their husbands? Has the State to intervene in a strictly private affair? Why
first reading the story of Jaime and Sonia thought Sonia was a child? Precisely because James yelled and beat her. Unconsciously, you thought: "If so it must be his daughter. "We can not think that can be treated and a (a) adultx, as well as reading the words" racist attack "in a headline, does not occur to us that the victims may be Swedish.

And finally, on this issue which concerns us both mothers and fathers, to teach nuestrxs hijxs to "share":

Isabel, not even two years, playing in the park with his bucket, his shovel and his ball under the watchful and loving gaze of Mama. Of course, such as missing hands, then the only blade under their direct ownership, and the bucket and the ball lie at a distance. An unknown child is about more or less the same size, sits next to Isabel and without a word catches the ball. Isabel is ten minutes without any case of the ball, and a principle is so quiet pounding on the ground with his shovel. So quiet? A / a observer / a atentx have noticed that the beats are a bit stronger, and that Elizabeth watches the ball into the corner of my eye. The newcomer, for its part, seems fully aware that slippery slope steps: remove the ball, watch the effect, bringing back ... To avoid misunderstandings, Isabel says: "É mine! ", and soon feels compelled to specify:" balls and mine! "The intruder, who apparently has not yet mastered the three-word sentences (or perhaps you simply prefer not to commit), merely repeats: "Ball, peloooota, squid!" Afraid no doubt that these words amount to a claim of ownership, Isabel decides to recover the full possession of his green ball. The attacker does not offer much resistance, but in an oversight manages to stay with the tray. Isabel plays a few minutes, met recently recovered the ball, but suddenly looks worried. And the bucket? But will we get!
And so we spend the afternoon. Sometimes, Isabel will yield willingly, for a few minutes to enjoy some of their possessions. Sometimes reluctantly tolerate it. Others will not tolerate it at all. On occasion, she offered to another child his own blade in exchange for his own bucket. There may be some crying and screaming on both sides, but in any case, it is likely that his new "friend" get enough playing time relatively peaceful.
is also quite possible that both mothers involved. And here there is a very strange fact: instead of like a lioness defending her young, every mother gets from the / a otrx Ninx. "Elizabeth, let him shovel this child." "Come on, Pedrito, return this girl his shovel. "In the best case, things will be in soft calls, but mothers rarely compete in a mad rush of generosity (how easy it is to be generous with the blade of another!)" All right, Elizabeth, if you will act accordingly, mom gets angry! "" Pedrito, ask forgiveness now, or we go! "" Leave, lady, play, play with the shovel! Is that this girl is a selfish ... "" Oh, because mine is awful! I have to spend all day behind because he's always taking away the things other children ... "And so the two punished just as small countries in conflict that could have easily reached an amicable settlement if they had not involved the two superpowers.
Scenes like this, a thousand times repeated, sometimes make selfish to consider our children. No doubt we would share a plastic shovel and a rubber ball. But what we really are more generous than they, or is that the toys we do not care?
must put things in perspective. Imagine that you're the one who is sitting on a park bench listening to music. By your side, on the bench, is your bag on a folded newspaper. In this approach a stranger sitting next to you and without saying a word begins to read your newspaper. Shortly after the paper leaves (open and thrown on the floor!), Grab your bag, opens it, looks inside ... Would you know to share? How quickly would say four things to the unknown, or grab the bag and run? If you see pass it off to a cop, do not you call it? Imagine now that the police are to you and says:
"That's enough, let him have the bag this man, or get angry. Pardon me, sir, is that this woman still knows how to share ... Do you like the phone? Call, call anywhere ... You shut up, woman, as you continue protesting'll see!
Our willingness to share depends on three factors: we provide, to whom and for how long. A / a comrade of work we can provide a book for weeks, but we upset a / a newspaper desconocidx touch us without permission. Only a friend or a soul / relative would lend our car to go for a ride. A toddler has few possessions and a bucket, a shovel or a ball is so important for him and for us a bag, a computer or cell phone. The time is long ago, and provide a toy for a few minutes it is as difficult as your p / mother deliver the car for a few days. And also distinguishes desconocidxs friends: and, although we do not realize. From point of view of an adult, any Ninx two years, and desvalidx indefensx is a / a 'amiguitx. " But when you measure less than one meter, a / a Ninx of two years is an / a desconocidx, and maybe even a / a 'individux with suspicious intentions. " Clearly

with examples like these that have different parameters in our society for adultxs vegan and vegan children. Our society does not treat children with the same respect adultxs vegan, and considers their views, interests, feelings and desires as valid or as important as the adultxs vegan. One aspect where this is clearest in the case of violence, physical and psychological. Most nosotrxs have very clear positions on violence, and we are against the blows against women and torture in prisons. However, many people (and even many books of "nurture") continue to support the position of "a slap in time ...", and I've even read whole chapters devoted to the important question of" how to decide when it is appropriate to punish ( read hit, shut up, ignore, etc..) at / a Ninx. " When it comes to vegan niñxs, as a society tolerate incredible dose of violence and, in many cases, the exercise, justifying them with phrases like "is for her sake," I could not contain me out of proportion, "or even" more than it hurts me to / the Ninx. "

adults is something so ingrained in our unconscious and the "homo / lesbophobia internalized, there is also the" adult internalized, in which young vegan niñxs and give more importance mismxs adultxs vegan, doubt their own value, knowledge and skills and, of course, discriminate otrxs niñxs and youth.

the term "adult" (adultism) was coined and defined by Jack Flash in 1978. Flasher identified more than 30 various beliefs and behaviors "adultist" very common. Among them:
• Consider a whim, "bad behavior", "malcriamiento" or "theater" conduct, behavior or attitudes / a Ninx to accept as normal and legitimate if the conduct an / a adultx.
· Put labels and / or negative stereotyping and youth niñxs vegan: vegan niñxs say are cruel, manipulative, selfish, etc. • Consider
trivial beliefs, perspectives or feelings niñxs vegan. Do not take them seriously or ignorarlxs.
Do not include vegan niñxs and youth in the decisions of the home, school, community, city, etc. although any decision affecting directly.
· deny their rights or subordinate to those of adultxs vegan.
· lecturing, giving orders, telling them how to do things.
· invade their privacy or bodily privacy (patting, pinching the cheek, obligándolxs to give kisses, etc.)
· Give priority to work, needs and interests of the / a adultx about the game, needs and interests of the / a Ninx .
· invade their space, their possessions.
• Imposing our interests.
· Talk about vegan niñxs ellxs opposite as if they were present.
Do not listen to them and provide the same care with which we would hear a / a adultx.
· Denying access to information, restrict, or give wrong information in the belief that they are immature or unable to understand or use it "properly."
· Prevent their autonomy, independence and individual or collective empowerment.
· betray the trust of vegan niñxs (eg, telling their intimacies and secrets).
· Faults respect (in the way it is).
° Obligations to do things that do not want.
· Critique your choices (in terms of clothing, for example) and their appearance.
· wary of them just for being young niñxs or
• Through the paternalism: the belief that children are vulnerable, dependent, weak, in need of protection and control, and they need to make decisions for adults vegan ellxs "for his own good."
· To think that our duty as mothers / parents is "domesticarlxs", "socialize" and so on. for hacerlxs "good people."
· To think that punishments need to learn, understand only with shouts and blows, etc.
· Making comments like
§ "If even seems adult!"
§ "When you grow up?"
§ "Do not touch it, it'll break."
§ "Who will know more, a / a Ninx or I (adultx)?. "
§" While at my house and I will keep, you'll do it my way. "
§" I do not understand anything. "(about a baby)
§" You're too old for that ., "or" You're not big enough for that. "
§" You know what, you have not experienced anything. "
§" It's just a phase and will pass. "

Well, and as I was very throughout this post, leave the rest of the note on adults next week, which will address some ways to combat our own to educate adults and nuestrxs hijxs without oprimirlxs or discriminarlxs.

I await your comments ...