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Adults. Fourth and, now, the last part

Now, this is the last of the articles devoted to adult.

One of the places where Janice and I have found the adults more blatant, exaggerated and unpunished is in restaurants. And it usually takes no more than spending 10 minutes on the site. Let's see ...
One of the most notorious instances is when the hostess and ask for the number of people we are. To ellxs is very clear that "people" does not include "niñxs" especially if such beings (as they are not people) are not yet old enough to consume their own food and therefore are not profitable for the facility. More than once we said "three people" (Janice, Gala and I), and we realized that the person assigning the type tables in his book "2", and even our assigned tables that are clearly for two people, which will simply pull up a chair for the child.
And speaking of high chair is common in many restaurants the lack of facilities and furnishings suitable for vegan niñxs. And I'm talking about restaurants of all kinds, from inns to those expensive restaurants, expensive. For me it is clear that if a place does not even have the courtesy to offer seats niñxs vegan, you do not expect there niñxs among its guests, ie vegan niñxs are not welcome. "Discrimination?
Another detail, but we know that the details say many things: the cape or service. In many places we have found that the / the Gala meserx not need to decide which shawl or covered. So, we put the service to us, and leave empty space in front of Gala. Still do not understand the logic here. Is it because they assume that a four year old girl that goes with their mothers to the restaurant will probably just see them eating and did not find the sense to mess your silverware putting them to a being that is only going to play and will not even consume? And this being, of course, no need for bread dish or cup for water or a teaspoon, not even those for coffee, for if their mothers choose to share with her something of what they ordered.
And we have yet to the letter. It goes without saying that restaurants where situations occur as described above do not even have a letter for niñxs. (Although I have been witness of contradictions as the children's menu but there is no high chairs, for example.) And in places where they have children's menu ... oh, disappointment. It appears that, as almost all restauranterxs vegan, vegan niñxs only eat meats, pseudoalimentos fried or breaded chicken soup and desserts. And these are the options given for vegan restaurants niñxs even in exotic or ethnic food, or in international cuisine. Of course, no one would take a girl to a restaurant to eat humus Arabic, buttermilk, tabulate or falafel, or a Hindu to eat pakooras, samosas, dhal or pulao, which is why vegan sabixs administrators of these sites have decided to offer on their menus for beef burgers niñxs or chicken (and as ground beef, never really know), hot dogs, synchronized, fries, nuggets, the aforementioned poultry soup, milkshakes, pancakes with ice cream and a few more things like that . In my opinion, a children's menu truly equitable, inclusive and respectful of vegan niñxs should offer the same features for vegan dishes adultxs in smaller portions and, if anything, ignore or temper the spicy on dishes that carry it. That is, at least, what I love to find in a restaurant. Because also, if Janice and I are going to Gala to a place other than Mexican food is because exposing the diversity Gala cultural (and culinary), not to eat junk food while we enjoy our carefully prepared food.
The best solution I've found this respect are the buffets, because in them vegan niñxs have the ability to choose what to eat and how much and also do not have to wait until they take the order and will prepare the dish, which which can be frustrating when you Ninx and you're hungry and want to eat as quickly as possible to make things interesting. The buffets offer two advantages: they give the possibility niñxs vegan (and vegan adultxs) to discover a variety of dishes that may not prove otherwise and, last but not least, give opportunity to / the Ninx of being self-sufficient if vegan mothers or fathers do not interfere and let him serve his / her solitx. Here in the City, there are several vegetarian buffets (three real good and a couple more not so much), and we are regulars of them. A Gala loves and, as we stand alone and load your plate to the table, always surprises otrxs vegan diners, both as "good" to eat as their autonomy. We are not interested in impressing others parroquianxs vegan buffet, but secretly we also feel happy and proud.
I must say that I started writing this post last week (in fact, this is the post I should have sent to the blog for seven days), but fortunately did not have time to upload it to the network. I'm glad about that because yesterday Janice and I visited a "restaurant niñxs" which is in the Condesa. We had seen the sign several times, but yesterday we had time and opportunity to stop and see the place and the concept, and we did. When I saw the facilities, really excited me. This is an area which incorporates the principles of the Montessori method, so everything is real and everything is provided the size of niñxs vegan. It is basically a vegan restaurant niñxs can go, sit at a table, order and eat ellxs solitxs. Then go to another area to make a craft and finally, go to the kitchen (everything in it is appropriate to child size) to prepare something (the day that we had prepared bread). All this lasts two hours. Moms or dads are not present and, if they wish to remain on the premises, there is a special space suburb of. Everything sounded pretty good (although I must confess I am not in favor of the craft), but when I saw the letter, I was disappointed: the same crap as usual fried patty. Actually I was thinking of taking one day at Gala one or two girlfriends, but that, frankly not a joke ... However, as I said at the beginning of the paragraph, I'm glad I posted so far, to include this comment on the "restaurant niñxs" that promised much but was just that: promise.

And going to something else, but still the issue of adults (and now, to conclude), I want to say something about the clothes. In fact, I will use this review to introduce the topic I'll try in the coming weeks: sexism. One of the ways in which social oppression is reflected not only by age but also by gender is the dress. Adultxs vegan vegan submit niñxs making them uncomfortable clothing and keep limpixs obligándolxs, which in many cases prevents them from playing at home and sometimes, I'm sure is because of "bad behavior" (if you do not agree, think about how you feel and behave when you squeeze shoes or underwear, for example). However, this apparel is girls who bear the brunt. Somehow, socially believe that children "are children" and that is normal soiling and look a bit scruffy. However, we like our girls always look "pretty", "flirty", "clean" ... "Like a princess." (Just to write me is starting to suck.) So we bought the dresses more "beautiful" (and who cares how uncomfortable you become accustomed ...) and even shoes with Heels. The poor girls so subject can not play like, and if they dare to test their strengths and skills with their male peers, is almost certain to lose, given the inappropriateness of his wardrobe. A girl in a dress and shoes can not run well, or roller skate or bike, can not climb, climb, roll on the floor ... go, not jump on the slide, swing or play on the up and down, because "you can see his pants." For me there is no doubt a girl from childhood is thus put in relation to their appearance, when it grows it is expected that fights do not have to undergo the "dictates of fashion" and social impositions that believe women should have no hair in most parts of the body, corresponding to a certain stereotype about the dimensions and proportions of their anatomy, wear high heels, pantyhose and bras very uncomfortable push-up, hair dye, makeup, and a very long list. Worst of all, from my point of view is that current fashion "for girls" has, in most of the times, small reproductions of clothing for young adult women, designed to make them look "sexy" and highlight certain parts of your body. Personally, I find it perverse to have a girl to dress well. As adults, we more or less consciously decide if we want to use a particular garment and know when and how we intend it to us. However, I have seen mothers without the slightest awareness girls dress their ombliguera, waisted pants (the kind that are to the hip and are painted to simulate wear in the area of \u200b\u200bthe buttocks), the aforementioned Heels, and even sandpipers with malicious comments in two ways. I consider myself a liberal woman and not very biased, but frankly that seems inappropriate clothing for a girl is not able to fully understand the implications of what it gets. I reiterate that I am equally against cheesy and childish clothes because I also seem perverse (though otherwise). Honestly I think the best is to buy our children clothes "child": the sizes are larger, more comfortable, the designs seem more interesting and even, I think even last longer. As most of the clothes that Gala have right now has been present from his cousins, aunts, grandmothers, etc., I must confess that there are enough things in your closet that I never would have purchased. However, Janice and I have tried to have several thermal pajamas (which, as are white, Gala used as "yoga pants") that are very comfortable and loves to use Gala and at least one pair of comfortable pants (child). Never impose what clothes to wear, and when you choose one of those pretty dresses that much we dislike, we bite our lips and then smiled: the truth is that it is "pre-cio-sa", and we know that when he interfere or bother you will not hesitate to remove it and replace it with something more suitable to their needs.

We read, therefore, next week to enter himself into the issue of sexism in the education of nuestrxs niñxs.
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Gucci Vintage Buckles

Adults, third (and last-hope-) part

Well, I keep it with articles on adults, and I confess that I have every intention of finishing this item and to continue with others who are dying to tackle me, but one of my faults / virtues is that I am very obsessive, passionate, and my "clavadez "release me from this ... to see if I get it.

promised in this post talk about some ways we can reduce our own adults and place them vegan niñxs and youth. Before proceeding with this, however, I will mention some of the effects of the adult on niñxs vegan. They are, in fact, the effects of any kind of oppression has on those who suffer:

· undermines their self-confidence and self-esteem;
· les creates a sense of worthlessness or inferiority;
· les creates a sense of powerlessness;
· les feel they are not seriously tomadxs;
· les construct a negative self-concept ;
• in some cases, can generate ellxs destructive behavior or self-destructive
· can generate them psychosomatic illnesses (depression, etc.). llevarlxs even a suicide attempt;

Well, now, put your available an extensive list of ways we try to be more justxs, solidarixs and respetuosxs with niñxs vegan. Hopefully this will be useful.

1. Changing our niñxs vegan negative paradigms and try to understand their behaviors and attitudes from their point of view. Niñxs vegan is often "misbehave" because they are cansadxs or hungry, or feel solxs, aburridxs, ignoradxs, not to make us angry, desafiarnxs or can give us. " This does not justify talk of "bad behavior" but give the right dimension and learn to distinguish what is truly a negative attitude and what is simply a manifestation of something else. In this sense, one could even say that the terms used above ("misbehaving", "bad behavior"), are usually terms vegan adultxs that we use to describe what happens when a / a Ninx does something we do not like or does not suit us, not necessarily something inherently "bad." I think both are terms that we should eliminate from our vocabulary and replace them with more accurate to describe what really happened and not just rate it. The same applies to the verb "disobedience." Do not use with adultxs or when we talk about equal, right? And if you look, most of the time we say that / the Ninx "disobedient" is because it does not do what we want, but what she / he wants. It is then a conflict of interest and, as such, which would the case would be to negotiate a solution in which both parties gain something. Unfortunately, what we usually do is try to impose our fancy on the / the Ninx and we engaged in a power struggle often absurd. I think it's important that we consider that as us; vegan niñxs do things to meet their needs. Often we are not going to like what they do niñxs vegan, but we must try to see their behavior as something that / the Ninx mismx does for, not against nosotrxs. I believe that, viewed from this perspective, very few of the behaviors generally considered "problematic" are for real.

2. Consider vegan nuestrxs niñxs as equal and tratarlxs well. We must strive to be more coherent and consistent in our treatment and adultxs niñxs. A tip that Janice and I have worked is that we do not know how to react to something related to Gala, we think what we would do in a similar situation with a friend (or even with nuestrx jefx), or how we like to be treated if were in their place. For example, if we are at a dinner and pour the liquid from a cup, "we like to be yelled at, humiliated and insulted and treated us with kindness and help us clean? What if the last straw was your friend or your boss? I personally owe him more respect and consideration for my daughter that the head of Janice, and something that I love is that, as we used our daughter to be well treated when eventually lose patience and we say so ugly "clean now", she immediately shows his dissatisfaction with our response and, for example, if it was going to clean and not clean. I hate to feel humiliated or put in evidence and is something that does not tolerate ... I often feel we invest lxs first years of his life to "educate" and now she is our "student" to us, reminding us when we "forget" the proper way to treat it. Although in reality the idea is that we see ourselves as beings trying to humanxs humanxs beings and learning otrxs unxs of otrxs and not as "mums and dads" educating "vegan" hijxs "(or vice versa). Some questions worth ask are:

· would try to (a) adultx this way?
· Do you talk to (a) adultx with this tone of voice?
· Do you snatch this one (a) adultx?
· would take this decision (on) adultx?
· would expect (or ask him) that a (a) adultx?
· would limit the behavior of a (a) adultx this way?
· would listen the problem of an adult friend in this same way?

Another tip that come here is if we can not imagine how we would treat a friend in a similar situation (there are things that definitely are NOT going to make friends, okay?), Try to think what we would do if instead of hijx nuestrx out the / the hijx of a friend or boss. Never try to nuestrxs hijxs as we do not want to try vegan or someone else would try nosotrxs mismxs not vegan hijxs someone else.

3. I'm sure this advice is controversial, but I'm ready to jump into the arena because Janice and I worked perfectly, let sometimes vegan niñxs to "get away with it." Must give small concessions and skip the rules from time to time. This is a necessary experience for developing the personality of vegan niñxs teach them they are not a mere "plaything of fate (or the dictates of their mothers), but they can do something, wanting something, achieve something, influence in others vegan, and that their opinions and views are heard and taken into account. Teach vegan niñxs to set out clearly and respectfully your point of view and when they do, consider giving them what they want. Janice and I love this board because we have followed with Gala from very small, but sometimes can not help but lose control and make a berrinchito (thus, tiny), you know that the only way-probably-get what you want is to negotiate quietly, clearly and respectfully ... And it does! And the truth is to listen to state their case, their logic, their point of view to just three years is a gift. And, when we decided not to assign, for whatever reason (it is explained), Gala is more willing to understand, knowing that our refusal must have a good reason and not mere desire to annoy. I know there are many people who firmly believe that we must never yield to niñxs vegan, because "we lose respect" and "if we give in once, we must give up forever." However, life is not so. A government or a company that does not negotiate with vegan or vegan ciudadanxs empleadxs dissatisfied, respectively, is a government / business autoritarix, tyrannical, dictatorial, antidemocráticx e. .. ineffective.

4. We must strive to be truly inclusive with niñxs vegan. Seek their opinion in the decisions of the family and especially those that concern them and affect them directly. We must hacerlxs part of our conversations, escucharlxs with the same care with which we hear adultxs vegan, give validity to their thoughts, experiences and feelings, and support their initiatives.

5. It is also important to give correct and precise information on how it works the world: our experiences, relationships and sex, young vegan contributions to humanity, and other topics that might interest them. It is clear that we must adapt the information to the interest and understanding of / the Ninx, but that does not mean we should lie or hide information.

Before concluding, a clarification: I know who have read my opinion, but I think it is worth clarifying that it skip some of these tips if you're at risk the safety and welfare of the / the Ninx, or if la / Ninx is threatening the safety / welfare / integrity of someone or something. Our approach at home is: if it does not hurt the child, or other person, animal or plant, and if not terrible and irreparable damage occurs in inanimate things ... goes.

In our family, Janice and I have implemented the policy of doing nothing with Gala we not we would or would not do a / a adultx. And this includes not choose clothing that offers not force her to eat what you do not want, not "punished" for not "following", etc. and yes, however, respect and take into account their suggestions, opinions, even criticism. Do not think we are "spoiling" a Gala, and that discipline in the home be "loose." On the contrary, we are teaching to make their own decisions so conscious, to take responsibility for the consequences of their choices, to respect the same way that you respected her, and consider that their actions have an impact on others. Gala, his three and a half years, knows what it is to be respected, you know that your opinion is as valuable as anyone, and that certain decisions, those related to him-her only concern him, but others are not vegan we like what she has decided. Account, you know, with our support, with our advice, our guide, but also known to have power and control over their lives and the decisions you make are your responsibility. In our house there are few rules, and they include include mutual expectations, ie that both Gala and we are obliged to comply. Almost the only non-negotiable rules at home are:
- All family members should treat each other with nothing less than total respect.
- Decisions and actions that are made must take into account the welfare of all.

I know that some people will disagree with me, and I know that some people may argue for this or that "method" with which we could make Gala eat better, sleep more, "behave better", "obey ", etc. However, if these methods are against the individuality of my daughter, her self-esteem, self confidence, creativity ... No thanks. So I want, nay, and I love it.

... y. .. sorry ... I could not. I have still something that I care to say in relation to the adult. Two things. But as again I was already very long this post will be next week. That one, I promise, will be the last post on adults and then we'll talk about the nightmare of moms lesbian feminist ... you know what it is.

I welcome your comments, opinions, suggestions, or any sign of life on the other side of the computer ...