Well, I keep it with articles on adults, and I confess that I have every intention of finishing this item and to continue with others who are dying to tackle me, but one of my faults / virtues is that I am very obsessive, passionate, and my "clavadez "release me from this ... to see if I get it.
promised in this post talk about some ways we can reduce our own adults and place them vegan niñxs and youth. Before proceeding with this, however, I will mention some of the effects of the adult on niñxs vegan. They are, in fact, the effects of any kind of oppression has on those who suffer:
· undermines their self-confidence and self-esteem;
· les creates a sense of worthlessness or inferiority;
· les creates a sense of powerlessness;
· les feel they are not seriously tomadxs;
· les construct a negative self-concept ;
• in some cases, can generate ellxs destructive behavior or self-destructive
· can generate them psychosomatic illnesses (depression, etc.). llevarlxs even a suicide attempt;
Well, now, put your available an extensive list of ways we try to be more justxs, solidarixs and respetuosxs with niñxs vegan. Hopefully this will be useful.
1. Changing our niñxs vegan negative paradigms and try to understand their behaviors and attitudes from their point of view. Niñxs vegan is often "misbehave" because they are cansadxs or hungry, or feel solxs, aburridxs, ignoradxs, not to make us angry, desafiarnxs or can give us. " This does not justify talk of "bad behavior" but give the right dimension and learn to distinguish what is truly a negative attitude and what is simply a manifestation of something else. In this sense, one could even say that the terms used above ("misbehaving", "bad behavior"), are usually terms vegan adultxs that we use to describe what happens when a / a Ninx does something we do not like or does not suit us, not necessarily something inherently "bad." I think both are terms that we should eliminate from our vocabulary and replace them with more accurate to describe what really happened and not just rate it. The same applies to the verb "disobedience." Do not use with adultxs or when we talk about equal, right? And if you look, most of the time we say that / the Ninx "disobedient" is because it does not do what we want, but what she / he wants. It is then a conflict of interest and, as such, which would the case would be to negotiate a solution in which both parties gain something. Unfortunately, what we usually do is try to impose our fancy on the / the Ninx and we engaged in a power struggle often absurd. I think it's important that we consider that as us; vegan niñxs do things to meet their needs. Often we are not going to like what they do niñxs vegan, but we must try to see their behavior as something that / the Ninx mismx does for, not against nosotrxs. I believe that, viewed from this perspective, very few of the behaviors generally considered "problematic" are for real.
2. Consider vegan nuestrxs niñxs as equal and tratarlxs well. We must strive to be more coherent and consistent in our treatment and adultxs niñxs. A tip that Janice and I have worked is that we do not know how to react to something related to Gala, we think what we would do in a similar situation with a friend (or even with nuestrx jefx), or how we like to be treated if were in their place. For example, if we are at a dinner and pour the liquid from a cup, "we like to be yelled at, humiliated and insulted and treated us with kindness and help us clean? What if the last straw was your friend or your boss? I personally owe him more respect and consideration for my daughter that the head of Janice, and something that I love is that, as we used our daughter to be well treated when eventually lose patience and we say so ugly "clean now", she immediately shows his dissatisfaction with our response and, for example, if it was going to clean and not clean. I hate to feel humiliated or put in evidence and is something that does not tolerate ... I often feel we invest lxs first years of his life to "educate" and now she is our "student" to us, reminding us when we "forget" the proper way to treat it. Although in reality the idea is that we see ourselves as beings trying to humanxs humanxs beings and learning otrxs unxs of otrxs and not as "mums and dads" educating "vegan" hijxs "(or vice versa). Some questions worth ask are:
· would try to (a) adultx this way?
· Do you talk to (a) adultx with this tone of voice?
· Do you snatch this one (a) adultx?
· would take this decision (on) adultx?
· would expect (or ask him) that a (a) adultx?
· would limit the behavior of a (a) adultx this way?
· would listen the problem of an adult friend in this same way?
Another tip that come here is if we can not imagine how we would treat a friend in a similar situation (there are things that definitely are NOT going to make friends, okay?), Try to think what we would do if instead of hijx nuestrx out the / the hijx of a friend or boss. Never try to nuestrxs hijxs as we do not want to try vegan or someone else would try nosotrxs mismxs not vegan hijxs someone else.
3. I'm sure this advice is controversial, but I'm ready to jump into the arena because Janice and I worked perfectly, let sometimes vegan niñxs to "get away with it." Must give small concessions and skip the rules from time to time. This is a necessary experience for developing the personality of vegan niñxs teach them they are not a mere "plaything of fate (or the dictates of their mothers), but they can do something, wanting something, achieve something, influence in others vegan, and that their opinions and views are heard and taken into account. Teach vegan niñxs to set out clearly and respectfully your point of view and when they do, consider giving them what they want. Janice and I love this board because we have followed with Gala from very small, but sometimes can not help but lose control and make a berrinchito (thus, tiny), you know that the only way-probably-get what you want is to negotiate quietly, clearly and respectfully ... And it does! And the truth is to listen to state their case, their logic, their point of view to just three years is a gift. And, when we decided not to assign, for whatever reason (it is explained), Gala is more willing to understand, knowing that our refusal must have a good reason and not mere desire to annoy. I know there are many people who firmly believe that we must never yield to niñxs vegan, because "we lose respect" and "if we give in once, we must give up forever." However, life is not so. A government or a company that does not negotiate with vegan or vegan ciudadanxs empleadxs dissatisfied, respectively, is a government / business autoritarix, tyrannical, dictatorial, antidemocráticx e. .. ineffective.
4. We must strive to be truly inclusive with niñxs vegan. Seek their opinion in the decisions of the family and especially those that concern them and affect them directly. We must hacerlxs part of our conversations, escucharlxs with the same care with which we hear adultxs vegan, give validity to their thoughts, experiences and feelings, and support their initiatives.
5. It is also important to give correct and precise information on how it works the world: our experiences, relationships and sex, young vegan contributions to humanity, and other topics that might interest them. It is clear that we must adapt the information to the interest and understanding of / the Ninx, but that does not mean we should lie or hide information.
Before concluding, a clarification: I know who have read my opinion, but I think it is worth clarifying that it skip some of these tips if you're at risk the safety and welfare of the / the Ninx, or if la / Ninx is threatening the safety / welfare / integrity of someone or something. Our approach at home is: if it does not hurt the child, or other person, animal or plant, and if not terrible and irreparable damage occurs in inanimate things ... goes.
In our family, Janice and I have implemented the policy of doing nothing with Gala we not we would or would not do a / a adultx. And this includes not choose clothing that offers not force her to eat what you do not want, not "punished" for not "following", etc. and yes, however, respect and take into account their suggestions, opinions, even criticism. Do not think we are "spoiling" a Gala, and that discipline in the home be "loose." On the contrary, we are teaching to make their own decisions so conscious, to take responsibility for the consequences of their choices, to respect the same way that you respected her, and consider that their actions have an impact on others. Gala, his three and a half years, knows what it is to be respected, you know that your opinion is as valuable as anyone, and that certain decisions, those related to him-her only concern him, but others are not vegan we like what she has decided. Account, you know, with our support, with our advice, our guide, but also known to have power and control over their lives and the decisions you make are your responsibility. In our house there are few rules, and they include include mutual expectations, ie that both Gala and we are obliged to comply. Almost the only non-negotiable rules at home are:
- All family members should treat each other with nothing less than total respect.
- Decisions and actions that are made must take into account the welfare of all.
I know that some people will disagree with me, and I know that some people may argue for this or that "method" with which we could make Gala eat better, sleep more, "behave better", "obey ", etc. However, if these methods are against the individuality of my daughter, her self-esteem, self confidence, creativity ... No thanks. So I want, nay, and I love it.
... y. .. sorry ... I could not. I have still something that I care to say in relation to the adult. Two things. But as again I was already very long this post will be next week. That one, I promise, will be the last post on adults and then we'll talk about the nightmare of moms lesbian feminist ... you know what it is.
I welcome your comments, opinions, suggestions, or any sign of life on the other side of the computer ...
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